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| Ashlyn Ruth Stombaugh |
I did some fun things to pass the time while I was overdue, to keep myself from going mad. A friend recommended I write my daughter a letter. So I did that, and it is now the first page of her first-year scrapbook. I also made her what I called "celebration boxes." This helped me to focus on something positive, rather than the impending negativity involved with passing your due date. These were boxes that I wrapped in ribbon with custom labels. They were filled with candy and I was going to give them to friends and family who visited us at the hospital and at home to meet our baby girl. Our daughter was going to be named Olivia up until I was 39 weeks pregnant. Then my husband Luke and I both admitted that neither of us were 100% sure about that name. So we decided to develop some backup names, just in case. In the end it was going to be Olivia, Katelyn (Kate), or Ashlyn. The middle name was always going to be Ruth, which is my dear Grandma's name. I made labels for the celebration boxes, a sheet for each name. That way I could just stick them on at the hospital once we decided. Yes, I am a super planner. :)
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| Celebration boxes |
At my 41 week appointment my midwife discussed induction with me. The midwives did not induce until 42 weeks, unless baby was proven to be in distress. My OB was going to induce me at 8 days past my due date when I was pregnant with Noah, but thankfully he came before then. I love that the midwives see the advantages in waiting for natural labor to occur. Although, I honestly never thought I would come close to the 42 week mark! I wanted so badly for everything to happen naturally and was feeling very discouraged as each day passed with no sign of baby. The never-ending prodromal labor produced a fear in me that my uterus was not capable of independent natural birth. With Noah I had experienced uterine exhaustion during labor, which led to pitocin and in the end, the vacuum. Although long ago I had determined the probable causes of the uterine exhaustion (not eating or drinking during labor, not resting/sleeping in early labor, not focusing on baby's position or how to change it, etc, etc), I started to doubt my body's abilities. My doula, Alissa Light from Birthing Arts, kept telling me that the prodromal labor was actually doing things to prepare my body for labor. It dilates and softens your cervix, and hopefully will amount to a shorter labor. But it was extremely disheartening for it to go on that long.
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| 40 weeks and 2 days (11 days to go!) |
It was the evening of Tuesday, October 4th. This was Luke's late night at school (he is currently in his senior year at Northwestern College). So it was just me and Noah, preparing for the day to come. We went to Cub Foods around 5:00pm, which was only a few blocks away. I wanted to stock up on groceries and had grand plans to bake two chicken casseroles and zucchini muffins. At Cub I started feeling some contractions but thought nothing of it at that point, since prodromal labor had been going on for 3 weeks. By the time we got home from the grocery store it seemed that they were fairly close together, so I began to time them. 7, 6, 5 minutes apart. I timed for about a half hour and then decided to text Luke. I texted him the contraction times and said I thought he should come home now. This was about 7:00pm. He raced home, said he broke several traffic laws on the way (and seemed to thoroughly enjoy that!). The contractions remained consistent and were slowly strengthening in intensity. We called my Mom about an hour after Luke got home. She came over fairly quickly, ready to spend the night with Noah, who was already asleep. Luke and I stayed at home in the downstairs family room for about another hour and a half, waiting for the contractions to get closer together before we headed to Woodwinds. It was nice and relaxing, a brief bonding experience for me and Luke before we became a family of four. Luke played his guitar while I bounced on my exercise ball. When the contractions were consistently 6-7 min apart we decided to leave. This was it - it was actually FINALLY happening! And the day before I was going to be induced, thank God! It was nearing 10:00pm. We could have stayed home longer, but I just hate waiting for the next thing to happen. I just wanted to get settled in at the hospital, at the place where the birth was really going to happen. Once I was there, it would be more real and I could focus on entering that next stage.
The ride to Woodwinds was uneventful. We didn't feel as anxious as we did driving to the hospital to have Noah. I think there is this sense of urgency with your first child, no matter if the situation is dire or not. October 4th was a calm, warm and peaceful evening. We called our doula, Alissa, on the way to let her know she could meet us at the hospital. She arrived about 5 minutes after we did. She immediately began setting the mood in our labor room. She set up Christmas lights, electric candles, and a calming fountain. Atmosphere is very important to me, even when I'm not in labor. The right lighting is huge and can dramatically change my mood. Alissa even brought donuts, which was Luke's one and only request. :)
The nurse checked me when we first arrived at the hospital and said I was at 4 cm, -1 station, and 80% effaced. A good start! We all focused on keeping me eating, drinking and peeing. I know now that these three things are key while in labor. You must keep that uterus well fed and hydrated so it can do its job well! I continued showing slow but steady progress, walking the halls with Luke & Alissa. Around 1:30am Luke and I were getting tired. Alissa suggested we try to nap before things became more intense. Luke passed out quickly, I knew from his snoring. I noticed my contractions becoming more intense while napping. I couldn't help but groan and moan, while lying in the bed drifting in and out of sleep. I asked my midwife, Dr. Katie Pehl for a cervical check at 2:45am, hoping it was time to get in the birthing tub. They usually have you transition to the water around 7 cm. She said I was at 6 cm and that I could get into the tub if I wanted, since the ward wasn't busy that evening. Katie warned me that if my water broke in the tub and there was meconium (the first bowel movement of a newborn infant), that I would have to get out no matter what stage of labor I was in. This was because they didn't want the baby ingesting the meconium - that can be dangerous. I quickly agreed, assuming that wouldn't happen.
I got into the birthing tub at 3:10am. The water felt like a good place to be. I knew I had made the right decision to have a water birth. I did get out a few times to use the bathroom, not only because I had to pee but because my midwife thought that being in the squatting position on the toilet would help move labor along. And did it ever! I couldn't stay on the toilet very long because the contractions were very intense while I was there. Only Luke came into the bathroom with me, because I needed his physical and emotional support through those contractions. I leaned into him while they came and passed. My midwife was so respectful and perfect. She just waited outside the bathroom, ready if I needed her at any moment. I did call to her once, and she was right there immediately. Now I don't even remember why I did, as the specifics can become fuzzy in your mind after an event as intense as birth.
The contractions became intense very quickly in the tub. I had entered into transition (the period during labor that precedes pushing and delivery, characterized by strong contractions and the completion of cervical dilation). I was shocked by the intensity of this stage. It was nothing like my labor with Noah. It was so much harder! I knew I had uterine exhaustion with Noah, which meant that my uterus was not doing its job to the fullest. But only when I entered transition during my labor with Ashlyn did I realize that I never actually reached true transitional labor with Noah. This big surprise came in the form of a brick wall and I wanted to quit. I was in tears. I sobbed to my midwife telling her, "I just need to know when it will be over. When will it be over?? Please tell me!" After all, I never felt the true 'urge to push' that everyone talks about when I was in labor with Noah. So I really didn't know what to expect at all. This was very much like a first birth experience, in so many ways. Being a true midwife, Katie sat at the side of the tub, looked me in the eyes, and ever so calmly replied in a gentle voice, "You'll just know." Oddly, this was both soothing and frustrating. Her aura really did inspire tranquility, but those words did not describe the details I desired in that moment. I am a type-A, after all.
Luke and Alissa continued to assist me any way they could. Luke poured water over my body in the tub. Alissa squeezed honey sticks into my mouth (yes, she's that awesome). I reached a point in transition where the contractions were so intense and so frequent that I couldn't concentrate on anything but the pain. I lost track of the ability to relax and focus. Alissa told me to hum through the contractions with her. Sometimes a low guttural sound can be beneficial during labor, both for natural pain relief and to move the baby down the birth canal. So we stared at each other and tried to hum together through the next contraction. I tell you, I could not even keep a steady note. My hum was literally vibrato. I tried for a few contractions but then again reached a point where I could really do nothing but suffer through the contractions. I wanted to conquer them, not suffer through them. But I hit that breaking point, and I'm sure it didn't help that this all came as a surprise - not realizing the full potential of transitional labor until that moment. I told Alissa, "I just can't do it, I just can't."
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| Luke supported me so well |
At this point it was about 5:25am, roughly 12 hours from my first contractions of early labor at Cub Foods. I did not plan for having to leave the tub, so when I got out I had no idea what I wanted to do or how I wanted to birth this baby. I first started moving towards the bed, but immediately knew I didn't want to be there. Thankfully someone pushed the birthing stool over (which is like a low-lying, donut-shaped, plastic seat). I squatted on the stool and pushed with the contractions. Luke was behind me. I leaned into him and he supported me so I didn't fall. Katie told me that I should only push during the contractions. She said when the contractions stopped that I should also stop pushing. This was to ensure a gradual decent of the baby, to avoid tearing or other trauma on my body. This was another new birthing experience for me. I had never felt Noah being born in the natural way, since he was vacuumed out of me. It was an incredible feeling. I could feel my daughter moving down with the contractions, and then up again. Down and up. Down and up. It definitely was gradual. During the second to the last contraction, I felt my daughter's head come out of me. And then the contraction stopped. So I stopped pushing, as my midwife had instructed. That was so intense and there was so much pressure! It felt like an eternity waiting for that next contraction, to finish delivering her. I remember my left heel bouncing, toes on the ground, waiting.... And then it came. I pushed hard as everyone in the room cheered me on. And she came out quickly at 5:46am on Wednesday, October 5th, 2012. Only 25 minutes of pushing this time. She weighed 7 lb, 13 oz and was 21 inches long. The first words out of my mouth after she was born were, "It's over! It's over!" Then of course, Luke and I both asked if she was still a girl. She was. :)
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| Meeting my daughter for the first time |
Then I moved to the bed and my midwife checked me over. After having a third degree tear from the birth of my son, I was expecting some kind of damage. Amazingly, there was no tear! No need for stitches. I was shocked and relieved. This recovery was going to be much easier. I was up and walking more quickly. My body felt dramatically better than it did after the birth of my son. I even felt well enough to go home the very next day, even though we could have stayed at Woodwinds one more night. We did want to get back to our son and were so excited for him to meet his new little sister!
Luke and I did not agree on a name right away. He was stuck on Kate and I wanted Ashlyn. We both agreed she didn't look like an Olivia. Good thing we had backup names ready! 12 hours went by and she still had no name. I was getting impatient. I told Luke I was done calling her "baby girl." I said she needed a name now. Luke and his brother, Marcus, jokingly started calling her "Magneto Pickle Bee." The "pickle" part stuck and has been her nickname ever since (or some variation of... pickey, pick, etc.). I told Luke to hold her and say each name while looking at her, to see which one fit. Every time he said "Kate" she scrunched up her little nose. I said, "See! She doesn't like Kate either!" He said he needed to go for a walk to think about it. When he came back he said he had talked it over with God and she was to be Ashlyn. Ashlyn means "vision or dream." When my husband was deployed to Iraq for the second time with the Army National Guard back in 2009, he had a vision that he said came from God. In this vision he had a daughter. So when he returned home and we quickly conceived our first child he was convinced it was going to be a girl. Well, it wasn't. That was our wonderful son, Noah. How appropriate that now Luke's vision was coming true with Ashlyn. Also, my mother's name is Madelyn and Luke's mother's name is Carolyn. So they all have the -lyn ending in their names. So really she is named after 3 people: My mother Madelyn, Luke's mother Carolyn and my Grandma Ruth.
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| (Left to right) My Grandma Ruth, my Mother Lynn, Ashlyn, and my Mother-in-Law Carolyn |
However, despite the amazing experience I must say that a small part of me is a bit more apprehensive to have another child, only because Ashlyn's labor and birth were so much more intense and painful. But although the pain was less intense, Noah's birth was much more stressful and traumatic, as a ring of interventions squashed our hope of an all-natural birth. So I guess there is always something to be fearful of. The trick is to not let that fear get the best of you. Acknowledge your feelings and then let them go. Trust that God will be with you and that you can get through it. He made our bodies for this purpose, and we can do it. And honestly, I find the birthing process to be quite exhilarating and empowering. I can't even fully describe the excitement that comes with waiting for your baby to arrive and knowing that you have this important God-given task of birthing a child into this world.
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| My family |
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| Ashlyn today My maternity photos Ashlyn's newborn photos Ashlyn's 3-month photos Ashlyn's 6-month photos Our 4 generation photos Ashlyn's 12-month photos |
