Christmas 2009

Christmas time is here and I love it! I love the decorations, lights, music - it all makes me very happy. This will be our last Christmas as a family of 3 (including Jake dog of course). Next year the holidays will be much more fun with our little man here!

Christmas cards are always a big deal for me. I'm a graphic designer, and I try to be as creative as possible. We modeled this year's card after the "It's a Wonderful Life" DVD cover. I'm pleased with how it turned out. It was a good way to announce Noah's upcoming arrival as well. CT Ryan took the photo, so you can't go wrong there! We sent out about 200 cards this year. Wonderful!

Getting Tired.....

Finally into the third trimester. I'm feeling very tired lately and hope that I maintain enough energy to finish everything that has to get done. I am a bit stressed and overwhelmed. Included in my list of things to do in the next 2 months are... Christmas and everything that involves, finishing the nursery (way behind on that!), 4 birth and parenting classes, 3 baby showers, and organizing the house. I wish I could just take 2 weeks off work and get it all done. But unfortunately, all sick and vacation days must be saved for maternity leave. That stinks. Being pregnant and working full time is really hard. It's tough getting up in the morning because every morning I wake up feeling like I'm 80. My hips ache, my back aches, and it's really hard to get moving. Then I go to work and sit in a cube all day, which doesn't help with the aches and pains at all. Ugh. I just can't wait until the end of February. Hopefully by then I can say that my to do list is completely done and I'll be getting ready to greet little Noah!

Karate Kid

Noah is moving like crazy these days. Luke and I say that he's practicing karate in my tummy. Last night we were in bed watching a movie and we could see him rolling around, back and forth. We had never seen so much movement. It was so much fun! Luke thought it was kind of "weird" - LOL. Although I have to admit that the movie Alien popped into my head once. It's just so strange thinking that there is a real being growing inside of you! I hope that near the end of the pregnancy we can see imprints of little hands and feet. That would be so precious. Less than three months to go! :)

25 Weeks and Counting

My belly is so big and round now - I love it! I'm sticking straight out and it looks like a basketball. Definitely all boy! :) Noah is very active. I feel him move all the time now and he seems to be getting stronger as the weeks go by. Luke and I can actually see the movements now, and that is really neat. It's so entertaining to watch!

Not much progress has been made on the nursery, and I'm getting a little nervous. Only 3 more months until our little boy arrives and I have so much to do! We're hoping to get a lot of painting done over the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. I'm pretty much done with my registries at Target and Babies R Us, although they do need a little tweaking. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone. I feel like it was just yesterday that I saw "YES" on that little stick. :)

♪ Noah's Song ♫

Luke and I co-wrote a song for Noah and we like to sing it to him together. Here's how it goes:

"Little Noah, how are you?
What do ya look like?
What do ya do?
Where will you go
And who will you be?
Who will you meet
And what will ya see?
I can't wait 'til
You...are...free!"

Nursery Planning is Fun!

Luke and I have decided how we're going to design Noah's nursery. Originally I had thought a Noah's Ark theme would be fitting. Luke said that was too obvious and not really original - we could come up with something more creative. So then I thought of having a Calvin and Hobbes theme. Luke loved Calvin and Hobbes when he was growing up, so naturally he thought the idea was awesome! The concept of Calvin and Hobbes surrounds the adventures and imagination of a little boy. This is a concept that can grow with Noah. It's definitely a unique theme, and it will be super fun to decorate!

Right now the room is bright orange. It was my office. About a week ago we managed to clean and move all of my office stuff downstairs to what used to be the guest bedroom. This was a large task considering that my office had become my "junk room." I really didn't do a good job of keeping it clean and organized. Many hours and six bags of trash later, it was moved! Then we moved the nursery furniture from the garage to the nursery closet. Now it's time to paint. We purchased all of the paint, but have yet to get started. We have decided that the upper walls will be a creme color, followed by a white chair rail, and navy blue for the lower walls. As for the Calvin and Hobbes theme, I will be painting a mural and several other illustrations throughout the room. I'm excited! Noah is going to have the most awesome nursery! :)

We have decided on this scene for the full wall mural :

I will paint this smaller illustration above Noah's crib :

I will paint & frame this with a note saying, "Love, Mom & Dad" :

Luke and Noah

Luke finally felt Noah moving last night! We were lying in bed watching a movie. I had just eaten a Schwan's Silver Mint Bar. I think the sugar got to Noah because he was very active. I touched my stomach to see if I could feel him from the outside (this attempt had been unsuccessful up until this point). But lo and behold I felt him this time! So I told Luke to feel. Noah moved again right away and Luke looked at me with bright eyes and said, "Is that him?!" I told him it was and I nearly started crying. Noah stayed active for awhile and Luke felt him the whole time. It was such a special moment! :)

It's Noah Matteson Stombaugh!

It's a boy and I couldn't be happier! I've been praying for God to prepare my heart for either gender all along the way, and he most certainly did. I can't wait to meet my little man! We had our big ultrasound yesterday. It was so much fun! It's amazing how at just 19 weeks pregnant, my baby already looks like a real baby. I'm overjoyed with love for him. Here are some photos from my 19-week ultrasound on October 7.

Getting Anxious....

Our gender ultrasound is exactly two weeks from today! Luke and I are SO excited to find out if Stombaby is a boy or girl. Last night I had a dream that we went to the ultrasound and it was a girl. But the ultrasound tech would only give us one photo, and I was mad about that. As far as my dreams go, the score is girl-2 and boy-1. Half the people I know say it's a girl and half the people I know say it's a boy. I feel like I have no clue at this point. Luke really wants a girl, and it's so sweet how he talks about it. But I keep telling him that we must remain neutral. At this point, I just feel like I'm going to be relieved to know. Then Stombaby will have a real identity, we can call him/her by name, and I'm sure I'll feel a little more connected to the baby once I know the gender. 2 weeks!!!

Stombaby is Moving!

Today I am 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I started feeling Stombaby move last week when I was 16 weeks. I wasn't sure at first if that was it, being a first time mom. But after awhile I was positive. It's definitely not my body. I feel the movements low, exactly where my doctor said Stombaby is resting right now. It's such an awesome feeling! I feel like Stombaby has been really active over the last week. I feel him or her quite often. It's reassuring to know that the baby is really there and doing well! :)

Sniffles, Hips and Pains

I've been congested and sniffly ever since I got pregnant. At first I thought it was our house. I asked Luke if we needed to get the air ducts cleaned. But we left town and the same thing happened. Now, after talking with my friends who are moms, I have found that this is just another symptom of pregnancy. I will probably be blowing my nose until February. :)

My hips are already feeling tender. Most mornings when I wake up they ache. I try to sleep with a pillow between my legs, but it doesn't always help. I am planning on getting a pregnancy Snoogle pillow soon. Maybe that will do me some good.

Since the early weeks of pregnancy, I have experienced twinges of pain in my stomach whenever I cough or sneeze (and sometimes when I laugh). I was worried about this at first and thought something was wrong. My friend Tamrah who is currently pregnant with her third child told me that this is completely normal during pregnancy. Ligaments in your stomach begin to stretch soon after conception, preparing for the baby. When you cough or sneeze they stretch even more. That is what causes the pains. I am happy to have all of these experienced women in my life to set my mind at ease!

Stombaby Dreams

Last Saturday, August 8th I had my first gender dream since being pregnant. I dreamt that we already had the baby and the three of us went to the movie theatre. For some reason we were waiting until the first doctor appointment to find out the gender. I really wanted to know, so I told Luke that I had to check the baby's diaper. When I looked, he had abnormally large genitals. Then I looked at Luke and said, "It's Noah!" We hugged and were both very happy. Noah had Luke's nose, which I was very happy about since I think Luke's nose is so much better than mine.

Then last night I had a dream that we had Olivia May. She had a ton of dark brown hair and big blue eyes. She was adorable! There was a lot of breastfeeding going on in this dream. My friend Emarie was helping me to learn how to do it.

So who knows. I've now had a dream about a boy and a girl. I guess we will find out in October! :)

Welcome back, Appetite!

So my appetite is finally back. Stombaby had taken it for awhile. Eating is no longer a chore. I am so happy about this! There are still a few foods I couldn't imagine eating right now, but overall I eat well and often. Hurray! :)

Pacne Sucks

So I'm discovering that pacne is included among the many joys of pregnancy. Pacne is an original term I created. It stands for pregnancy acne. I find myself having to use much more concealer these days... :(

Happy 5-Year Wedding Anniversary!

On July 31, 2004 we were 19-year-old high school sweethearts tying the knot. Five years of marriage, love and friendship have passed. An eternity is yet to come.

To see more photos from our anniversary shoot, visit CT Ryan's blog.

Food Issues

The thing I miss most right now is having a normal appetite. I've never been a picky eater and I've never had any issues with food. Ever since I got pregnant things have changed. Eating has become a chore, which is a big bummer for a food-lover. Nothing sounds appetizing when you are nauseous or generally do not feel well. Several times I have had a craving for, and later an aversion to, the same exact food! It's rather annoying. I bet families waste more money on groceries when there is a pregnant woman in the house!

They say you should gain 4-6 pounds in the first 12 weeks (first trimester). I am 9 weeks pregnant now and I haven't gained any. I've actually lost a pound! I'm not too worried about this, though, because I know it is common to have problems gaining in the beginning (since so many pregnant women are sick at this time). I am confident that I will make up for it in the second and third trimesters.

Boy or Girl? Trying to Stay Neutral...

I've always had a preferred gender in the back of my mind, even since I was a little girl. I feel it's very important now for me to stay neutral. We will find out in October if our Mini-Stombaugh is a boy or girl, and I want to be happy either way. If I were to get my hopes up about a certain gender and then feel disappointed, that would be quite awful of me. I would feel like a terrible mother. After all, there are so many things that matter more than gender like physical, mental and spiritual health. Family isn't making it any easier, though. Everyone seems to want a girl just like me. There aren't a lot of girls in the families. Luke has two brothers and I have one brother, so I'm the only girl. When we told Luke's dad about the pregnancy he cried tears of joy and then said, "I hope it's a girl." He has three sons. I've been praying for neutrality in my heart. The other day I did have warm and fuzzy feelings about the thought of having a boy. I think God is doing a good job of preparing me either way. Let it continue!

Dreaming about Olivia or Noah

Every single day Luke and I pray for our baby to be spiritually, mentally and physically healthy. If you would keep our baby in your prayers too, it would be much appreciated!

Looking back, it seems that every significant thing in our lives has happened in an instant. We were married in exactly two weeks, found and purchased our first home in four days, found and adopted our dog in two weeks, and got pregnant in one week! God knows I can be impatient, and He seems to be making my dreams come true quickly.

The pregnancy has been real to me for some time now. After all, I have been experiencing all of the physical symptoms. I believe the first ultrasound made it real for Luke. He seemed absolutely amazed when we saw our little lima bean and noticed the heart fluttering at a rapid rate. When I tried to talk to him about the whole experience on the ride home, he was speechless. He immediately asked for one of the ultrasound photos, and he has kept it in his back pocket nearly every day. He shows it to all of his guy friends. I looked at it yesterday and it resembled an ancient artifact with all of the creases and wrinkles on the delicate ultrasound paper. I think this is so precious. Luke is going to make a wonderful daddy.

Mini-Stombaugh: Due February 28, 2010!

Our first baby is on the way! Praise Jesus! We are excited to enter this new adventure in our life. I am nearly 8 weeks pregnant, and Luke has been home for 9 weeks. Haha - that didn't take long! :)

I knew that I would be able to test sometime during Father's Day weekend (Father's Day was on Sunday, June 21 this year). My original plan (if I received a positive) was to wrap the test up in a box and give it to Luke on Father's Day. That was how I was going to tell him, and it would have been perfect! But I tested early the morning of Friday, June 19. The first was a +/- EPT and I received a very faint +. My heart started racing. I decided to take one more test to be sure. I took a digital 1st Response that says YES/NO, and it said YES! There was no way I could keep this big secret from Luke for two whole days, so I immediately ran into the bedroom to tell him. It was still before 7:00AM and he was half asleep. I gently woke him and showed him the test. He said, "Really?! Oh, Good Morning!" and gave me a big hug. I burst into tears, of course. Then I called my mom to tell her - woke her up - and she was ecstatic. She dropped off an "expecting" card and a wrapped book (Nancy O'Dell's Full of Life) before I even got home from work that day! Then I called my Grams and woke her up - she too was very excited. Luke told his mom that evening in person. We told Luke's dad on Father's day. He cried and said he hopes it's a girl (since he has 3 sons).

I found out I was pregnant very early on at exactly 4 weeks. The first 5 weeks were great! The only symptoms I had were cramps and bloating (totally normal during the beginning of pregnancy). In fact, that's how I knew I was pregnant. I started experiencing cramps on Monday, June 8 which was exactly mid-cycle for me and around the time that I'd be ovulating. That was not normal for me. I never got cramps until the day before my period - and it wasn't due for another 2 weeks! After I tested positive at home I had to go into the clinic so that they could test me positive. I thought that they were doing a blood test, but it turns out they were doing a urine test. They tested me at 4:30PM on June 19. The doc came in and said the results were negative. WHAT?!?! Then we had a discussion. I had tested early (as in, before my missed period). And I had tested in the morning when I first woke up. The pregnancy hormone, hCG, shows most in the morning if you are only in the third or fourth week of pregnancy because your first morning pee is most potent. It made sense that a 4:30PM test would be negative. The doc said not to worry, she would do a blood test and it would probably be positive. She called me early the next morning (Saturday) to tell me that my pregnancy was indeed confirmed. She said my hCG level was 53 and I was exactly 4 weeks pregnant with a due date of February 28, 2010. 4 weeks? But how could that be? Apparently they start counting from the first day of your last period, which for me was May 24 (2 days after Luke got home from Iraq!). I had stocked up on so many pregnancy tests that I took them all weekend just for the fun of it (and to convince myself it was real!). By Sunday night, I had a positive non-morning urine test. This made sense because your hCG level literally doubles every 24 hours. All was good!

I definitely noticed a change in how I felt when the 6th week of pregnancy rolled around. It was rough. I felt nauseous every day, all day. I never got sick, though. It's really hard to eat when you have nausea, because nothing sounds good. I did some reading and discovered that the baby has a growth spurt in the 6th week. It more than doubles in size and this can sometimes cause nausea. That's why most women find out they're pregnant around 6 weeks. I was too impatient to wait! This week is my 7th week and things have calmed down a bit. Now I only get waves of nausea every now and then. I know it will all be worth it in the end!

I know that everyone reacts differently to a first pregnancy. I have become an information junky. I want to know anything and everything about this little life growing inside of me and the changes that my body is going through. I've been on BabyCenter.com every day and it has been a great resource! I also like to visit BabyFit.com and EHD.org. Luke and I ordered TLC's A Baby Story: First-Time Parents Edition from Netflix and watched episodes for over a week! It showed first-time parents in the last few weeks of pregnancy, throughout the birth and the first few weeks with the baby. It was really informational and fun to watch. I'm glad that Luke got into it too. :) I've been reading What to Expect and Full of Life. I also got a great video that shows the embryo and fetus inside the womb from conception to birth: National Geographic's In The Womb. I like being well-informed about what is going on with me and this baby. It is making the whole experience much more fulfilling.

My dear friend Becca gave me an awesome pregnancy journal and baby book just days after I found out I was pregnant. Thanks, Becca! I have been keeping track of everything in my journal and I trust that it will keep me occupied as we wait for this baby to come. I have been recording humorous and endearing quotes in my journal. Here are some of them:

On June 23, at 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant I was extremely emotional. I cried for an hour over multiple silly things. Luke said, "You're so fragile. You're like a tulip, and life is like a fox." He made me laugh through my tears. Oh, the hormones...

On June 25 I went out to dinner with Samantha Schaal. I asked her if she had any feelings about whether I was having a boy or girl. She responded, "You seem to always get your way, so I think it will be a girl. But if it's a boy I think it will be a very stubborn boy if he subverts your will."

On June 27 at midnight I had my first major craving: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Luke thought that I was kidding when I asked him to go to our 24-hour Cub grocery store to get some for me. I finally gave up arguing with him and went to get it myself. When I got home and happily made my mac and cheese he said, "I just didn't get it." And I replied, "You don't have to get it. I'm pregnant. Just roll with everything."

On June 28 Luke said, "I'm just excited to have a kid. I think I will understand love better. You've got the love of your wife, which you have to earn. And you've got the love of God, which you don't deserve. Then you've got the love of a kid, which is unconditional."

Today (July 16) we had our first ultrasound. It was so exciting! Although I did have to drink 32 oz. of water an hour before the appointment and hold it until after the ultrasound, which was pretty painful. But once I saw the images of our baby it didn't matter anymore. I was in awe. You could even see the little heart fluttering. The technician turned on the sound for a minute so we could hear the heartbeat. It was amazing. The baby measured 1.49 cm with a heart rate of 164 BPM. The tech confirmed that I am exactly 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. The due date is still February 28, 2010. Our little Olivia May or Noah Matteson is on the way! Here are photos from today's ultrasound...

Luke:Home / Mission:Accomplished / Me:Happy

Luke is home from Iraq! It's been a long and difficult year and I am glad that it is over. I thank God that Luke has come home safely from his second deployment. We are truly blessed. 250 Army National Guard soldiers from the 34th Combat Aviation Brigade came home via 5 coach buses on Friday, May 22 at Holman Field in St. Paul, MN. The event was amazing - so many families, friends, Patriot Guard Riders, photographers, and news crews filled the hanger. You could feel the excitement and happiness in the air.

I hired CT Ryan Photography to capture the emotional reunion. They did a wonderful job and the photos they took are priceless. You can visit CT Ryan's blog to see more photos of the reunion. Thanks to everyone who supported us during the deployment - we love you!

Robin's Nest: A Photo Journal

Ever since we moved into our house in December of 2007, there has been a robin's nest tucked up in the rafters beneath our deck. Last year I had the pleasure of watching three baby robins grow up in that nest and fly away. This year the mama robin is back, and I plan to keep a photo journal of the entire event. Check the link often if you're interested, as I plan to post many photos. Today I discovered three blue eggs in the nest. I was also able to see the mama robin. How exciting! I have a new reason to love spring....

Choosing to be Happy

My good friend, Rebecca, just posted a blog entry that I find to be so true. Why would anyone want to radiate negativity and remain miserable? You really can choose to be happy. Thanks, Becca, for so eloquently reminding us.

Meant to be Tardy

A few weeks ago I had an awesome God moment at church. Our church has two services every Sunday: 9:30 and 11:15 am. Not being a morning person, I tend to go to the 11:15 service. This particular day I was running unusually late. I didn't get to the church parking lot until 11:45! Crazy! I saw my group of friends standing outside and had to say hi to them for a moment before dashing into the building. As I hurried up the stairs an older woman came up beside me. She said hi and seemed very friendly and nice. She told me she was a visitor and this was her first time at our church. She asked me when the service started. I told her it actually started 30 minutes ago, but that we usually do worship (music) for the first 20 minutes. She said that she would probably be sitting in the back because she was embarrassed about being so late. I said I would sit in the back too, since I was late as well. We sat next to each other during the service. We seemed to have an automatic affection between us, and it was nice. Throughout the service I thought about the fact that she was a first-time visitor. I felt that I had an opportunity and responsibility to welcome her, let her know what a great church it was, and encourage her to come back the following week.

After the service we introduced ourselves. I told her my name was Amanda, and she said she would definitely remember that because her daughter's good friend is named Amanda. Then she told me her name was Olivia, and I told her I would definitely remember that because I plan to name my future child Olivia someday. How funny! Then she said she just had to tell me something. She said that she had driven past our church many times and kept telling herself that she would go in one day. So finally she was there, but she knew that she was running late and was embarrassed about that. So she told herself that she would only go in if someone was walking in with her, and that person was me. What a blessing! I'm so glad that God could use me to do good. God really meant for me to be late that day. :)

A good Husband, a good Teammate

God gave me a wonderful husband in Luke. We have been together for nearly a decade now, yet my love still grows for him each and every day. Luke has grown into the man I need him to be because he allowed Jesus to change his heart. I respect him and trust him to be a wonderful leader for me and our family. Jesus is most definitely the reason that we are still together and why our marriage is so strong. I honestly believe that marriages fail because of lack of faith and relationship with God. I feel so grateful that Luke and I figured this out early on. We have saved ourselves much hardship by following our Lord and inviting him into our relationship. If you want an excellent message about how a marriage can be saved by faith, see the movie Fireproof.  For a humorous and Christian view on how to build a marriage that lasts, see Tommy Nelson's narrative on the Song of Solomon. Luke and I have sought out these resources and know first-hand that they speak the Truth and can make your view on marriage healthy and Godly. 

Marriage in the military is difficult and sometimes disheartening. Separation for long periods of time, constant readjustment and worry are sometimes hard to bear. These difficulties also make us stronger, though. I believe that we value our marriage more because of it. We don't have the privilege of always being together and always having the other available. This is why I think we probably appreciate each other more than the average civilian couple. So although being a military couple is a burden, it is simultaneously a blessing.

Teammates. It is a simple and brilliant idea. Luke developed this notion when he and I seemed to be arguing often last summer. The deployment just started and we were frustrated and stressed, no doubt. We have learned that we become vulnerable to arguments and fighting when a deployment is approaching or has just begun. Facing months of separation inevitably puts you on edge. Well, after a few unhappy phone calls Luke proposed this idea to me. He said that we were teammates, that we were on the same team. We were not enemies. Every time we begin to fight, we should be reminding each other of our "teammate status" and calling each other by that title. You are my teammate. We have been doing this and it has been working wonders. It is a good reminder, and I am thankful that Luke thought of it. Back in 2005, the Pioneer Press featured an article on our wedding story. We were interviewed by a reporter, who talked to us about how we met and how we were married before Luke's first deployment to Iraq. I recently read that article again. In talking about how our relationship began back in 8th grade I was quoted as saying, "It was a dodge ball game in gym class. We were on the same team." Looking back, that is an interesting statement. We were on the same team then, and we're on the same team now.

Happy Birthday, Jake!

Our Jake dog is 2 years old today. I love him SO much! He has been a blessing in my life, especially since Luke has been away. When we first adopted him back in January of 2008 he was ten months old. I could not believe that nobody had snatched him up before we did. He's handsome, smart, friendly, well-behaved, healthy... he's the perfect dog! Now I know that he was waiting for us. I believe that God meant for Jake to be our dog.

Since we don't have any kids yets, Jake is kind of like our baby. Jake loves watching movies with me. He literally stares at the screen, like we humans do. And he always cuddles with me when we watch movies. It's so cute! Today I used my lunch break to go to Petco and buy Jake a bunch of new toys and bones for his birthday. I will give them to him when I get home from work. Love you, Jakers!

My Vineyard Ladies

I've been blessed to receive a wonderful new group of friends. It started with a few, and quickly grew to 10! Unfortunately there are 3 missing from this photo. When Luke and I moved into our new house we started looking for a new church in the area. Luke quickly found River Heights Vineyard and we fell in love with it. It has a wonderful accepting atmosphere, contemporary Christian music, and three amazing pastors who (believe it or not) all deliver excellent inspirational messages. It was not long before I discovered that a girl I went to high school with attended the church: Rebecca Rosario. We started talking and met outside of church a few times. When I told Rebecca I was looking for a photographer, she introduced me to Tamrah Ryan (CT Ryan Photography). Tamrah talked to me about the possibility of having a ladies night gathering. Rebecca was invited, and she suggested we also invite some other ladies from the church. The group grew and grew and now there are 10 of us who have monthly ladies nights (and other gatherings in between!).

I feel it is such a blessing to have met this wonderful group of women. I've never really had a group of Christian girlfriends - girls who share my beliefs, follow Jesus Christ, and can truly uplift and encourage me in my faith. They all have unique and wonderful talents, as well as beautiful spirits. I am grateful for them and feel that I could go to any one of them with my concerns and my joys. So here's to April, Loni, Emarie, Tamrah, Naomi, Rebecca, Meredith, Jessica and Monique - I love you all!

Betty's Cafe

So this is it - Luke's special birthday surprise. Betty's Cafe was a little restaurant in South Saint Paul, where Luke and I grew up. The owner, Betty, was apparently quite a character. Sometimes she made you what she wanted to make you, not necessarily what you ordered, and you would eat it! Luke grew up near Betty's and often went there for breakfast before school with his dad. He has many good memories of Betty's. After Betty died nobody took over the business and the place shut down. Somehow my mother-in-law knew that everything in Betty's went to one particular family in South Saint Paul once it closed down. This included a photograph of Betty's Cafe that was framed and hanging in the restaurant. Luke remembered that photo very well and always said that he'd love to have it. After more than a month of detective work, planning and persistence I managed to track down the person who had the photo and convince them to let me scan it so that I could make a print (and I didn't even know them before I started on this mission). Then I had it custom framed and shipped it to Iraq for Luke's golden birthday present. I was able to watch him open it through Skype (online web cam). Best gift ever! :)

So much has happened...

I've been a lazy blogger lately. So much has happened since my last post. Luke's grandpa passed away on Sunday, February 8 - less than three weeks from diagnosis. We were all stunned at how quickly it happened, but thankful that he didn't suffer for long. He was not very responsive during that final weekend. Luke had been calling every day from Iraq to check in with his grandpa. On Saturday, the day before he passed, gramps actually responded to Luke. He said I love you and goodbye. That was the last time he talked to anyone. I was there at the hospital in Duluth that Sunday, the day he passed away. Luke's aunt and uncle and I drove up together. Just before we were going to leave the hospital around 3:00, Luke phoned the room for his daily check in. I got to talk to him and then he asked me to hold the phone up to his grandpa's ear. I held it there for a few minutes while Luke talked to him, though his grandpa was unable to respond. That was hard. Tears came down as I tried not to shake with the phone in my hand. A few hours after we left his grandpa passed. Luke's granny and mother were there by his side when it happened. What a good man he was, and what a legacy he left. He will be missed.

After Luke left I anxiously waited to see if our attempts for a baby were successful. I found out yesterday that they were not. Although I told myself I would not be upset if that were the case, I must admit I was a little sad. I just have to remind myself that God laughs when we tell him our plans. Luke will be home in a few months and we can try again then. A baby will come in God's time.

Luke's golden birthday was yesterday. The big 2-4. I spent a month planning a special surprise for him and he will be receiving it today. I told him that he must open it while skyping with me (web cam). I will be able to post more about that later - don't want to give it away yet. :)

Off to another blessed day in Minnesota!

Then & Now

The photo on the left was the first one ever taken of us. We were in 8th grade band class in the spring of 1999. Luke played the clarinet and I played the french horn. The photo on the right was taken when Luke left for his second deployment to Iraq last June of 2008.

The story of how we met... We were in 8th grade gym class together. Luke noticed me while we were playing a game of dodge ball. I, however, did not know he even existed at the time. He would not talk to me, but asked all of my friends for my phone number. Not a single one of them would give it to him. You see, at the time my parents were unlisted in the phone book. They told me that if I ever gave our number to my friends that I should tell them never to give it out to anyone else. They listened well. :)

One day my friend and I were going for a walk after school. She lived near Luke. We came up to his house and I asked her, "Hey! Isn't that the house of the kid who wants my phone number?" I don't know how I knew that was his house, but apparently I did. My friends had told me of his efforts to get my number. I asked the girl I was walking with to dare me to knock on his door. She did and I agreed, but I made sure she came with me. I knocked on the door. In a house of 5 people, Luke was the one who answered it that time. He answered the door with his fly down and his pet bird on his head. I remember that very well. He looked a little shocked that I was standing there and didn't know what to say. We had never talked before that moment. I simply said I heard he wanted my numbered. He said yeah and ran to get a pen and paper. I gave it to him. He called me and we arranged our very first date. We went to the movie theatre (escorted by his mother in her gold Ford Taurus station wagon) to see "10 Things I Hate About You." Our second date was to Wooddale Roller Skating Rink, where we shared our first kiss. And the rest, my friends, is history.

Luke's Leave, part 2

The second week of Luke's leave was..... interesting. Our anniversary was Wednesday, as I mentioned in my last post. We celebrated our 9 years at Forepaugh's and had a wonderfully romantic evening. Luke ordered the pork tenderloin and I ordered the slow roasted salmon. The atmosphere at Forepaugh's is perfect for a special evening out with your significant other. We were seated at a table that was nestled within a corner of the restaurant surrounded by octagonal windows. We were on the third or fourth floor and there was a beautiful view. For most of the meal, it was snowing lightly. It was quite lovely. Luke looked incredibly handsome in his suit and I wore a simple black dress with the pearls his mother gave me for my birthday in December. It was fun to celebrate in style.


On Thursday we went shooting at Bill's indoor gun range. Luke had purchased a Winchester 30-30 rifle at a pawn shop while we were in Duluth the week before. He is very proud of his new gun. Apparently this gun is no longer in production, so it nearly quadrupled in value. Luke got it for only $350, which is closer to its original cost. "Quite a steal," he and all the guys were saying. Luke's dad, Tim, met us at the range. It was pretty fun, although I wasn't very keen on going at first.












I did end up shooting quite well and it was exciting! Tim and I agreed that it was a pretty intimidating environment, though. There are people all around you with guns. It's very loud. You can smell the gunpowder the minute you step into the range. I couldn't stay in the range as long as Luke and his dad did. So I waited in the store area while they finished. I'm still unsure how I feel about guns. I am definitely supportive of having a gun for home protection. I am not sure how I feel about concealing and carrying, though. Luke has very strong opinions about guns and their usage, but I'm on the fence right now.


Also during Luke's second week home, we met our good friends Howie and Lynn for dinner at the Beirut Restaurant in West Saint Paul. It is an excellent family-owned restaurant serving authentic Lebanese food. Delicious! It was so nice talking with Howie and Lynn. They are such good friends and good examples of how to live the Christian life. It's interesting to see the relationship between Luke and Howie. Luke is 23, almost 24, and Howie is in his 40's. Yet they have such a bond because of the faith they share, the musical interests they both have, and their sense of humor.


Our neighbor, Doug, had a beach party the last weekend Luke was home. He brought two truck loads of sand into his garage and set the heat to 90 degrees. He even put his jet skis out on display. It was a potluck and most of the neighbors came. Luke had fun playing with the kids. He and the boys made sand volcanoes. Luke is so good with kids. That makes me happy. I know that he will be an excellent parent one day (hopefully soon!). It was a fun party and it was nice to pretend we weren't living in Minnesota in January, if only for a few hours. :) We have such wonderful neighbors. Our entire block is full of wonderful people. They have all lived together on this block for decades. Their children grew up and are growing up together. They get together every Friday night April-December to have a bonfire. They all look out for each other too. It's such a tight-knit community. That is a rare thing these days. I feel very grateful to have moved into this particular house on this particular block, especially with Luke being deployed for so long. I feel safer just knowing these are the people who surround me.


We did have some house troubles while Luke was home. During the second week we had both electrical and plumbing issues. First, Luke noticed that the wall in the laundry room was sparking. It was sparking all on its own. Scary. He knew we had to get someone over to check it out ASAP. Thankfully we had already asked his electrician friend Kevin to come over the very next day to give us an estimate on re-wiring for an electric stove that we will be purchasing in March. So when he came Luke showed him the sparking wall. Kevin was able to fix it very quickly, thankfully. That could have caused a fire! Luke and I gave Kevin a check for his time and efforts, although he did not ask to be compensated. It's funny how God's perfect timing never fails. It just so happened that Kevin was coming the day after Luke discovered the sparks. And it just so happens that Kevin has been layed off for some time now and really needed the money. God works for the good of all who believe. That's for sure. A few days after the electrical issue, our drains backed up. It was only two days before Luke was leaving again. We could not use ANY water. No flushing the toilet, no taking showers, no doing laundry (and of course, Luke had piles of dirty clothes he needed to get clean before leaving). Water was all over the downstairs, causing quite a mess. Luke had to do some work, and Roto-Rooter had to do some work. $370 later, everything is back to normal. But we did end up spending most of our last day together with the Roto-Rooter guy. How romantic.....


Overall, it was a good leave. We very much enjoyed finally being together. Our love was confirmed once again. We both agreed that although the military life is hard, we probably have a much deeper appreciation for our relationship compared to non-military couples. We are apart so much that we can truly see and understand what we have in each other. Although a lot of unfortunate and sad things happened during Luke's leave (his Gramps' cancer, our house issues, etc.) it was definitely bittersweet. Of course one wouldn't want all of those things to happen during the only two weeks you are home. But Luke sure was glad he was home for all of it. He was able to hear the news of his Gramps' condition while at home surrounded by family. He was able to take advantage of that time to see him. He was able to help me solve the house issues. I'm sure I would have been much more upset had I been home alone when all of that happened. So as I said before, there is God with his perfect timing. We've been watching God work out his plan for us throughout our entire relationship. Why then, would his perfection and purpose change when it comes to our first baby? The answer, of course, is that it wouldn't. We have so many reasons to trust him on this, and no reason not to. So in closing, here's to our first baby, whenever he or she comes to be.


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11

Happy 9-Year Anniversary!

It is our 9-year dating anniversary today! Yes, we are one of those silly couples who likes to celebrate our dating and wedding anniversaries. This morning Luke took me out for a surprise. We went to the Southview Family Restaurant for breakfast in SSP. We used to go there when we were dating in high school and Luke worked there for awhile. Then we went bowling and I whooped his butt every time! We will be going to Forepaugh's for a fancy dinner tonight. I can't believe we've been together for nearly a decade now! And I still love him more and more every day.

A little tidbit of exciting news..... We actually did decide to go off BC now. After some thought and prayers, I stopped on Monday. Granted, Luke will only be here for a short time, but anything is possible with God. Our trust is in him, and we are excited to see what he does! :)

Luke's Leave, part 1

I told myself I would be logged off of all technologies while Luke is home, but it just so happens that he is a morning person and I am a night person. And so he is sleeping and here I am typing....

Luke got home earlier than expected on Sunday, January 18. It was a wonderful big surprise. However, I did put off everything I had to do until that day. I figured I had Sunday, since he said he probably wouldn't be home until Mon-Wed. So it was a mad dash cleaning house and grocery shopping and plucking eyebrows, getting ready for his arrival. I picked him up from the airport around 1:25. I had been so rushed that I thought I'd be late. But as usual, God swooped in with his perfect timing. I was half walking half running through the baggage claim area when I saw him coming in with the crowd from the terminal. It was so wonderful to see him again, standing there right in front of me, talking in person instead of on a telephone. During our chat on the ride home we both agreed that it felt like we'd never parted. It always feels like that when we reunite - like we never left one another. That's a good feeling to have.

Luke proposed that we go out to dinner that night for steaks. I was very happy to hear this, as I wasn't much in the mood for cooking. He told me to go get ready and so I did for a good 25 minutes, making myself as beautiful as I could. Then he fell asleep. He was totally out. I should have seen this coming since he traveled across four countries and who knows how many time zones over the past forty hours. He grumbled that he better just rest on his first night home - going out to eat was not a good idea. But we were both hungry and I had to do something. I fought the part of me that wanted to argue with him. I sighed, looking down at my dolled-up self. It was okay. I would make him the best home-cooked meal ever and it would be great. So I went to the kitchen and made us steaks, potatoes, corn, bread and salad served with an excellent expensive wine we'd been saving for a special occasion. Luke finally got up, walked into the kitchen, hugged me and said he was sorry. And wouldn't you know it, that dinner was better than anything that could have happened in a crowded restaurant. We were together in our home, eating a home-cooked meal and we talked for what seemed like hours. I had the candles burning and the slow jazz playing in the background. It was romantic and perfect. I was glad the selfish part of me had subsided, bit her tongue, and did what was right.

Jake dog was elated to see Luke, as was expected. His little butt wiggling frantically side to side as that tail whipped back and forth - it was too cute. I had left all of the Christmas decorations up for Luke, since he missed his Minnesota Christmas. His stocking was stuffed with goodies. He got to see the improvements that had been made in the laundry room and the garage since he left, and he approved. :)

The first few days were calm and peaceful. Everything just seems right and balanced when he is home. Even Jake dog is calmer when Luke is here - and that says a lot. However, Luke did mention a few times that this homecoming was not like the others. He was not quite as excited as he'd been other times - there wasn't such a "high." And he felt as if God had something special for him during this leave. He felt that God was going to teach him something and he was patiently waiting to see what that was. Then the third day arrived. Luke and I knew that his Grandpa had not been feeling well and that his doctors were running lots of test to determine what the problem was. On Tuesday night Luke's mom called a family conference. So there we sat in her living room - me, Luke, Luke's two younger brothers, and his brother's girlfriend. We all knew it was bad before she said anything at all. She went on to describe in detail and in sequential order, the events in Gramps' life over the past few months. One thing led to another, and on Tuesday they received concrete answers. Luke's Gramps has stage 4 aggressive cancer in his brain, spine, shoulder, and liver. As of today he has been in the hospital for 8 days. He has been dealing with a lot of pain and they are doing radiation treatments (and will possibly move onto chemotherapy) for pain control. With these treatments he has a 50/50 chance of living one year. This was all a shock, a huge blow to all of us. We had seen him (well, everyone except Luke) just three weeks prior and though he was not feeling well, who would have guessed that one? How could this not have been caught sooner? And the most pressing question of all: Will he still be alive when Luke returns from the deployment?

And so Luke and I packed up our bags that very night and left early the next morning to head up north. Gramps was in St. Luke's hospital in Duluth. We planned on staying two nights at a hotel, giving Luke nearly 3 days to spend some time with his Gramps. We also helped his Granny with some chores. They live on a lake house in Carlton, MN which is about 30 minutes south of Duluth. Lake houses are a ton of work, especially for older folks. Granny was glad to have us there, doing some of the things that she could not. She had been (and still is) traveling back and forth between Carlton and Duluth every morning and evening. She's also been trying to take care of all the legal business. On top of that, Luke's gramps owns his own company in Duluth: Northshore Manufacturing. He built that company from the ground up. And although he does have a trusted business partner, this new change in his health brings about alot of new business to take care of.

The trip was difficult for Luke. But he did take comfort in knowing that God was in control. How perfect was it that this news came during the two weeks Luke was home? And how much more difficult would it have been if he received the news in Iraq, far from his family? God definitely prepared Luke for this one. As I said earlier Luke knew something was coming, and when it did he had more peace about the situation than he would have if he had not listened to God as he was preparing him. He said he now knew that his homecoming did not come with such a high, so that when the news of his Gramps came he did not crash to a deep low. God prepared him well. Peace is the ultimate gift that God can offer us while we are on this earth.

Luke admires his Gramps and the legacy he has left. He has set an excellent example for his family and for Luke. I know that Luke appreciates him and has learned a lot from him. I'm glad that we were able to go up north as we did. While we were up there, there was this silly moment where Granny could not work her Satellite TV remote and blamed us because we had tried to turn on the TV while doing chores at their house. This was a HUGE deal for them. So much so that when we went to visit Gramps at the hospital on Thursday night we were not even in the room 2 minutes when he told us we'd better go fix it or Luke's ass was grass. It turned out that there was absolutely nothing wrong with it, but Luke was very hurt by his Gramps pushing us out the door over a TV, when he was lying there dying. The whole ride from the hospital to Chub Lake, I prayed for God to either give me the words to comfort Luke or to help Luke let go, have peace, and make the most out of his time here. Well God did not give me the words. Against my own will, I said nothing. It was VERY hard for me not to say anything. But I knew that Luke was angry, hurt and sensitive. I knew that almost anything I could say would hurt him more, rather than help him move on. And most importantly, I knew that I needed to give it to God at that point and LISTEN to what God had to say about it. And after all was said and done the night ended nicely with humorous small talk between us and Granny, a TV that really did work, quiet us time at the hotel, and a happy and content Luke. I told Luke about my prayers. I told him that through my relationship with Jesus, I'm finding it easier and easier to go against my nature. That was proven in this situation and in the situation with dinner on Luke's first night home. We all know that human beings are born sinners, but I'm finding it to be true that through trust in God and efforts given to really listen to him, one can honestly become a better form of one's self.

I'm also astounded at how I'm finding Romans 5:2-5 to be so true. This scripture says that "But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." In my talks with Luke regarding my faith over the last few days, he has told me that I am now living proof of this. At first I sort of laughed at this, thinking that may be true but I'm definitely not quite an example as others are. For instance, I am reading Crystal Woodman Miller's book "Marked for Life" which describes her triumph over the Columbine tragedy (she was a student in the library at the time of the shootings). She talks about that very scripture and how it applies to her life. And so I laugh at Luke's comment that I am living proof of that. He asked me what my suffering was. I pondered for a moment and then answered, "This military life." Although it is suffering to a much lesser degree than Crystal's, at times it is suffering none the less. There are literally years of separation from your spouse, almost constant worrying about them while they are at war.... Yes, I believe my perseverance, character and hope are coming from this military life. And besides, it does not matter how it comes so long as it comes. Praise the Lord for that.


While at the hotel in Duluth, Luke got an awesome idea to create a wine IV for Gramps. Luke's family has always been full of jokesters, Gramps included. We had brought a bottle of wine to share at the hotel and after we finished it off Luke attached a wire hanger to it so that it hung upside down, and put a clear tube in the cork. It looked just like all the other IVs Gramps had, but this one administered wine instead of medicine. So when we went to visit him on Friday before coming back to the cities, Luke hung it up on his IV stand. Everyone got a kick out of it, especially the nurses. We said our goodbyes, but told them of our plan to come back for a day trip before Luke returns to Iraq.

My own Grandpa (whom I also called Gramps) died 2.5 years ago from cancer. It was a similar situation, and it was the most difficult experience I've been through thus far. I had never seen anyone so sick in my life. I saw death in my Gramps. It was awful to watch him go through that and wither away. And so this situation with Luke's Grandpa reminded me of that. Although Luke's Grandpa is only at the beginning and not visibly that bad yet, it did bring back all those memories for me. I do hope that Luke does not have to see all of that. It might be better if he doesn't.

We've had to re-arrange a few plans for this leave. We had planned on splurging on a river-front jacuzzi suite in downtown St. Paul for our 9-year dating anniversary on the 28th. Since we had to spend our money on the Duluth hotel, we can no longer do that. Instead, we are going to Forepaugh's for a nice dinner that evening. We had planned on going to Forepaugh's in addition to the fancy hotel, but Forepaugh's will do just fine given the circumstances. Honestly, I do not mind what we do on this leave. I'm finally starting to let go of my selfish tendencies and realize what's really important in this life. If the entire leave consisted of being with Luke at our home and spending time with his Gramps in Duluth, I would be happy. And so would Luke. God makes you see what really matters - if you are listening, that is. :)

Talks of a baby are still going strong. Both of us had the thought to get pregnant while he is home right now, and not wait until June. Luke really wants Gramps to see his grandchild. Unfortunately, though, I would have had to go off birth control at least a few weeks before Luke came home. And even then there would have been a slim chance. So we are sticking to our original plan of me going off BC right when Luke goes back to Iraq and to try for a baby in June. However, God is bigger than everything, including birth control and "our plan," so who knows what will really happen. The only thing I know (and need to know) is that Luke and I are at peace with whatever shall be.

Luke's Leave part 2 coming soon.....

HE'S HOME!

That's all I have to say. :)

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009!

It's been an interesting year, to say the least. For Luke and me, 2008 marked our first year in our first house. We moved in December of 2007. We also became parents to Jake, our first dog. We adopted Jake in January when he was 10 months old. He's been the best dog ever - we are so lucky! I also began my career as a graphic designer. I am now a graphic designer/webmaster for the University of Minnesota's College of Veterinary Medicine. I LOVE my job, and feel so grateful to be in my field already. I wasn't expecting it so soon.

2008 also marked the end of my educational endeavors, at least for now. After going through a rough patch in Aug-Oct I decided it would be best for me to put grad school on hold. I was in my fourth semester of the MFA program in interactive design at the U of M. It would have still taken me another 5 or 6 years to actually get the degree, though, since I could only take one class per semester. At this juncture in my life I just need to focus on other things. Re-prioritization was a must. I know it was the right decision and it has lifted a lot of weight from my shoulders.

We also started attending a new church in 2008. Soon after we moved into our house, Luke found River Heights Vineyard. We immediately fell in love with that church - the pastors, the music, the people, everything! I finally feel like I am growing spiritually at my place of worship. I never felt like that before. RHVC has been a blessing for us, and I am looking forward to seeing how it will continue to positively influence our lives.

Looking back, Luke has been gone for most of 2008. Although he didn't deploy to Iraq until June, he was gone the majority of the first half of the year as well. National Guard training stints sent him around the country January-May. He was only home a total of one to two months during that period.

I imagine 2009 will be a much better year for us. Luke will return from Iraq this year. We will FINALLY be together again. Then we plan to try for a baby! It's definite now. We have had many long talks and decided that we are both ready for the big adventure! As soon as the deployment is over, we will be trying. It could happen anytime - hopefully before the end of summer. I feel so blessed to have a husband who is ready, willing and excited to enter this new chapter of our life together. It is a rare thing for a couple to enter parenthood as committed married homeowners who are both eagerly anticipating the opportunity to become parents. Neither of us came into the world that way, and we feel so grateful to have everything in place for the arrival of our child. Through God's grace, we are prepared and ready in every way that matters.

So here's to 2009: A year of hope, love, reunion and new adventures! May we continue to seek relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ and may He continue to bless our lives.